Why does it hurt so much when someone points out that you did something rude in a social setting?
It’s because it calls into question your filter on EVERYTHING. If it really was rude, AND you didn’t mean to be rude, then the only explanation is that: you are unaware of how your actions are perceived. Which is scary, like, what ELSE can you not see?? You have no idea.
There are two ways to resolve this:
- (Hard) Re-evaluate literally everything you do with this new frame
- (Easy) Double down, “I meant to do that”, really believe it, retain trust in your filter as-is
The “hard” option is obviously the better choice, IF you can make it through the valley (if you are able to not despair, and completely unravel).